I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
