My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
