Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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