Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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