I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
