Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
