marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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