Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
