great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
