is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Never underestimate the power of titties
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
