Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize