is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
