Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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