I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
