New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
