I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
