READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
