I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
