Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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