They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize