I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
