I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
