This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
