I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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