id be glad to
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
