My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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