do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
