My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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