Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
