Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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