Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
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I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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