So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
