I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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