I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
