I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
