no, he came in my armpit
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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