does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
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i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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