Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
