i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
