you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
