that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
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he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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