Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How come twittering sounds sexual?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because of Bambi.

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  (609): How come twittering sounds sexual? (267): Because of Bambi. http://tfl.nu/cgx2
  Replies (7) Good night (1354) Bad night (507)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.

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  (404): He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/81m1
  Replies (28) Good night (798) Bad night (7380) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.

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  (330): I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included. http://tfl.nu/hd7g
  Replies (32) Good night (6315) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.

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  (860): You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people. http://tfl.nu/iay5
  Replies (17) Good night (1037) Bad night (4287) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  of course. lets lasso hookers.

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  (860): of course. lets lasso hookers. http://tfl.nu/i5g9
  Replies (13) Good night (3961) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance

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  (386): The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance http://tfl.nu/iqmo
  Replies (17) Good night (5195) Bad night (1354)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool

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  (339): he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool http://tfl.nu/n767
  Replies (5) Good night (2083) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?

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  (415): I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number? http://tfl.nu/po3x
  Replies (7) Good night (8793) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me

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  (720): If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me http://tfl.nu/f7dp
  Replies (8) Good night (3101) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD

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  (516): i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD http://tfl.nu/cfey
  Replies (5) Good night (1958) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.

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  (707): Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/ll0f
  Replies (11) Good night (458) Bad night (1532) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.

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  (469): You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk. http://tfl.nu/g688
  Replies (2) Good night (2206) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?

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  (310): At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude? http://tfl.nu/d5u6
  Replies (5) Good night (1079) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
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  (958): View more from

  her vagina just converted me to Judaism.

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  (958): her vagina just converted me to Judaism. http://tfl.nu/z5ti
  Replies (5) Good night (1133) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue

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  (917): You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal. (203): That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue http://tfl.nu/dtw4
  Replies (10) Good night (1447) Bad night (440)

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