Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  pedialite and red bull = repair kit

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  (954): pedialite and red bull = repair kit http://tfl.nu/fijn
  Replies (22) Good night (3442) Bad night (801)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.

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  (402): birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented. http://tfl.nu/mdbr
  Replies (20) Good night (5911) Bad night (789)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.

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  (678): he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy. http://tfl.nu/gv2k
  Replies (14) Good night (769) Bad night (5199)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day

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  (860): Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day http://tfl.nu/vbqh
  Replies (4) Good night (3652) Bad night (824)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems

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  (202): just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems http://tfl.nu/fumh
  Replies (4) Good night (3355) Bad night (1127)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.

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  (907): I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar. http://tfl.nu/wjyf
  Replies (8) Good night (3658) Bad night (1086)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...

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  (321): Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face... http://tfl.nu/4hpu
  Replies (3) Good night (467) Bad night (796)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me

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  (512): Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me http://tfl.nu/3y5j
  Replies (19) Good night (1350) Bad night (1093)
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  (510): View more from California

  Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...

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  (510): Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment... http://tfl.nu/cuqz
  Replies (5) Good night (996) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.

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  (763): It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award. http://tfl.nu/a9wc
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (1082)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.

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  (303): Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth. http://tfl.nu/h368
  Replies (11) Good night (2817) Bad night (617)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck

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  (512): I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck http://tfl.nu/fgif
  Replies (8) Good night (1069) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  orgasmnado...tomorrow night

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  That's what I'm talking about

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  (616): orgasmnado...tomorrow night (1-616): That's what I'm talking about http://tfl.nu/v1ax
  Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.

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  (705): Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast. http://tfl.nu/az13
  Replies (5) Good night (1021) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way

  (407): View more from Florida

  As long as that's not his name for his dick.

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  (602): I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way (407): As long as that's not his name for his dick. http://tfl.nu/mj09
  Replies (3) Good night (431) Bad night (125)

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