when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.