5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.