someone owes me an orgasm
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it