Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.

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  (310): Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist. http://tfl.nu/cj2p
  Replies (15) Good night (4024) Bad night (524)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth

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  (847): Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth http://tfl.nu/6ed0
  Replies (29) Good night (4416) Bad night (793)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.

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  (615): He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat. http://tfl.nu/bfbd
  Replies (30) Good night (735) Bad night (4199)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.

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  (773): Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket. http://tfl.nu/bfmy
  Replies (22) Good night (3907) Bad night (560)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.

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  (770): The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end. http://tfl.nu/4vu6
  Replies (24) Good night (656) Bad night (3729)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.

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  (305): You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student. http://tfl.nu/quj8
  Replies (26) Good night (10126) Bad night (722)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I mistook a propane tank for a keg.

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  (850): I mistook a propane tank for a keg. http://tfl.nu/qvlo
  Replies (21) Good night (889) Bad night (10120)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.

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  (703): I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone. http://tfl.nu/c91d
  Replies (4) Good night (2431) Bad night (1003)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

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  (603): should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format? http://tfl.nu/bwcb
  Replies (26) Good night (11470) Bad night (1556)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.

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  (785): Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer. http://tfl.nu/7lxv
  Replies (15) Good night (5709) Bad night (1141)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.

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  (703): screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko. http://tfl.nu/s10e
  Replies (4) Good night (2816) Bad night (1096)
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  ... that would be easier though.

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  (+45): The world isn't going to end because you slept with him! (+45): ... that would be easier though. http://tfl.nu/hysm
  Replies (2) Good night (1265) Bad night (733)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."

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  (606): I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening." http://tfl.nu/f5c0
  Replies (3) Good night (1433) Bad night (470)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.

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  (248): All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude. http://tfl.nu/8z2h
  Replies (8) Good night (2059) Bad night (394)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!

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  (902): My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??! http://tfl.nu/o8bu
  Replies (1) Good night (410) Bad night (189)

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