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• (937): View more from Ohio

  You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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• (760): View more from California

  blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma

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• (310): View more from California

  what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?

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• (516): View more from New York

  Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.

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• (+34): View more from Spain

  Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night

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