no, he came in my armpit
you win again, gameday.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
