I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you never un-have a 4some
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
