I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
