# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
