So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
