so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
