Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
