You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Is it penis luge time yet?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
