I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
