You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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