Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
