...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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