I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize