I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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