what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Randomize
