one two three fourrrrnication!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
