I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
