You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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