Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
