Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
